I’ve arrived at this place where I no longer lament over whether I can please <insert family, friend, client or stranger who thinks they can judge me here> and finally embrace the brilliance and fallacies of my character. It is in this space that I realize - ironically - that I am (still) censored. While I believe I can say what I want to say, there is an expectation that the fashion in which I convey my feelings (i.e., social media) should be eloquent, diplomatic and pleasant. After all, I’m Fave. I live to encourage others. I rarely curse. I don’t speak bad about anyone. I love God. I always find the lesson in the lamentation, right? RIGHT?
Those that have ventured beyond the crust of my sweet potato pie online image, know that there’s more to me than podcasts and cartoons. I strive to be a better person as much as possible, but I’m still a man. I make mistakes…huge ones. But I try very hard to make new mistakes because repeated mistakes aren’t…mistakes. And while the past twelve months have administered moments of anger, confusion, despair and unspeakable agony from the depths of my being — I understand that somewhere in my life history, I’ve inflicted pain to someone, too, regardless whether it was intentional or not.
I know in my heart that I have paid that debt of bad karma. I’m forgiven. Some have the audacity to think that they’re my judge. They cradle and nurture their grudge. And it’s killing them inside. Not me. Them. I pray one day they forgive me for their sake, not my own.
This is not to say that my online presence is a farce. What you see, hear and read is what you get in real life…and then some. Fave is merely one dimension of a multi-dimensional me. Beneath the myriad of gifts, talents and adventures - beats a heart that will stop one day. That’s when the votes are tallied and my goal is that the good outweighs the bad so my eternity is good.